Introduction

Ralph and I moved to Flint, Michigan in the spring of 2021.  Previous to that, we had been in Schererville, Indiana.  We shared a career at a country club, Ralphie was in charge of goose control and I was in charge of Ralph and served as COO.  The transformation that would take place in my life can be attributed to the influence of several events, persons, and Ralph.  I will introduce those others as this story unfolds, meanwhile,  it is totally appropriate that my daughter and Ralph be named first.

I joined Briar Ridge Country Club staff in January of 2004, and in Country Club environments since 1995.  Country Club environments and culture was a large part of who I was as a person.  I garnished much of my identity as a key employee of a country club and in 2016 I took a job in sales and my career of direct involvement at a country club was over.  The new search for my authentic identity was also thrust forward by the seperation from my wife in the fall of 2016.  The world that I had operated in simple stopped existing and the darkness that appeared before me was real.  

My personal journey of finding my true authentic self would include great "down-ups."  The process of embracing the downward journeys through shadow work, honesty with self, knowledge of self, and acceptance of self would result in the upward journey of transformation and resurrection.  Richard Rohr's book Falling Upward was instrumental in this work as well as the enneagram and cognitive behavioral therapy.  

I believe we are living in a revelation or unveiling of sorts.  It seems the world is not short on truth, just open eyes willing to see.  I was never much for the news.  A brief encounter in 1998 with an executive of CNN in the Atlanta airport confirmed for me that our perception of what was news was simply sensationization of events sparking public interest to sell advertising slots.  Jouralism or any meaningful information that might serve the public good had been sacrificed in the name of corporate media and profit.  CNN had killed any chance the general public had in understanding with any depth the world we live in.  In a small blip of time, massive amounts of meaningless sensational information would replace truth.  Any attempt to dive into a complicated systemic corruption to expose or educate was derailed by the publics demand for a new type of information.

My distrust of "news," made me behind a bit.  On May 30, 2020 while laying in bed, I decided that I would see what all the talk of this George Floyd was all about.  I read a bit, then I watched the video.....all the way to the end.  There have not been many things that have had the impact on me the way that video did.  I cried.  I cried and I cried.

The aftermath of George Floyd's death and the subsequent way in which I interpreted the world I lived in changed me in a very fundemental and foundational way.  I felt immediate shame for the way in which I had justified and reconcilled the instances of the past that shared similar endings than that of Mr. Floyd.  As I watched the video, forcing myself to watch in its entirety, I couldn't help but think that he posed no threat to anyone and I couldn't understand the nature of the force that was being used.

I would never be the same.  I really felt lost.  What I once knew and identified with was obliterated in a short time.  The self inspection / inventory that took place with a change in jobs, change in marital status (including the change in social status as a consequence of a divorce), the pandemic, and the political turmoil was and still is overwhelming.  

One of blessings through this time was my best friend Ralph.  I came to find Ralph, a golden retriever, a wise and profound friend who would guide me through a great transformation.  The idea of a book titled "Walking with Ralph" gripped me.  I would write down the titles of chapters as my lessons unfolded.  Ralph and I would walk and encounter all types of individuals and our explorations never disappointed.  This blog or project page is an effort to communicate what Ralph did for me, the way I saw the world, and a new way forward.  

I decided to wait to begin this project until my earthly journey with Ralph was over.  I felt that I could only articulate the true meaning of our experience in the aftermath of all it was.  Ralph is still with me, he will always be, but we will walk together differently.  I have so much to share, so much of this story is Ralph, I am just a mouthpiece.    It has been just over 24 hours since I laid him to rest in a hole that I dug with the help of loved ones and I miss his furry presence emmensely.  I know, as I was told by Ricky, that he has merely changed ( a story that I will tell in future posts), but that change will take some getting used to.  In the meantime, I will let the tears flow and acknowledge them, allowing them to teach me what they are meant to give.

Peace,

E